Mother's Day: A day for ALL moms, not just the ones dealing with perineal tear PTSD, Becky.
If you're reading this, you came from a womb. In a lot of cases, that womb belongs to a woman whom you identify as your mother. And what's more, you love that woman! She gave you life! She's your mom! And perhaps you're a mom yourself! You've experienced the joys and/or pains of gestation and you have a beautiful and/or horrific birth story to go with the kid itself!
But here's the thing...
Not all moms have used their wombs. Not all moms have wombs.
I was raised by my aunt, a hard-working, selfless woman who sacrificed so much of her life to ensure I was able to live a full, happy one. Her body didn't build me, but it’s the body I reach for when I need comfort. She didn't give birth to me, but her unconditional and unrelenting love kept me alive. She is the one person in the world I want to make proud. Without my aunt, I wouldn't even know what a mom is. This is why, on a day like today, I celebrate her. I can't imagine celebrating anyone different.
The same goes for the trans woman whose body didn't come with all the accessories it should have. Today her kids celebrate her because she's a mom!
The same goes for the woman whose body didn't provide the opportunity to grow a child. Today the children she's adopted celebrate her because she's a mom!
The same goes for the woman who decided with her wife/girlfriend/partner that she herself would not be the biological parent of their child or children. Today that child or those children celebrate both of their moms because they are both moms!
The same goes for the woman who chose not to have children and raised their sister's kids, or their brother's kids, or their partner's kids, or their own siblings; people she did not birth from her own body. Today those kids celebrate her because she's a mom!
Being a mom doesn't have to entail nine months of biological development. Being a mom doesn't have to include a birth story. Being a mom doesn't have to involve your own DNA.
Mother's Day belongs to all moms. All of them.
Whether you've raised someone else's kid as your own or you've adopted a kid.
Whether you've opted out of a human kid and chose a dog or cat kid (I see you pet moms--that love is real).
Whether your mom is your aunt, or your grandma, or your sister, or your friend.
Whether your mom is here or she's gone.
So Happy Mother's Day to any and all who care to celebrate.
That includes you, Becky.